The Think and Do Steps to Recovery

When I'm teaching about the steps to recovery to patients and families, I talk about the 'the working steps'. I describe them in pairs, where the even numbered step is the thinking step and the odd numbered one is the action step. So the pattern is: think, do; think, do; think, do. In even steps we become willing, and then we finally, humbly ask God to remove our defects of character. Only God knows which ones need removing (or are removable) and which ones we will need to keep working on. We're still human--we don't get issued halos and wings at this point in sobriety. That's part of the humility--we don't get to get rid of all our defects. Some will linger, to keep us humble, and because, I'm convinced, underneath every defect of character there is some kind of blessing. Think about it: the flip side of selfishness is learning good boundaries of self care; underneath the defect of blaming others is the asset of accepting personal responsibility; underneath the defect of resentment is recognition of both our own limitations and those of others, giving us permission to be human. If we lose our defects, we never find our assets, so there will always be defects God refuses to take away.

To my way of thinking, it is recognition of our continued defects, and the search for assets, that begins our work. The 'think' steps, require us to look back and then look forward, to what we've done and what we need to do to 'undo' the consequences of our actions, or in other words, clean up our messes. But because we've still got those defects of character, we need to be aware of them so we don't go create more messes. I tell substance abuse patients to start with amends to themselves by looking at those shortcomings. What do they need to be surrendering to God daily? How will this awareness help them work their treatment program? Is this an issue they need to be covering with their sponsor, or with a professional counselor? Next they need to consider amends to their Higher Power. What are they going to do for their spiritual aftercare? Continue or repeat their steps with a sponsor? Use a daily devotional like "24 Hours a Day" or "Daily Reflections?" Commit to attend a 12 Step Meeting each week to work on their spirituality? Or find a church/temple/synagogue that helps them grow in their chosen faith? Only after all that do they need to begin to consider who else they owe amends to, why and what they want to do as an amend.